How To Differentiate Between Controlling Behavior And Genuine Care

An average human being is involved in 5 different types of relationships in his/her life . With different people in our lives holding different relationship values based on one factor ' love ', there are many occasions where we find them doing things to reflect how much they care about us . However, in many toxic relationships, this " care " crosses certain boundaries and begins to choke us .

When u're blinded by love, it is often hard to distinguish between what classifies as care and what is repetitive controlling behavior . The trick with controlling behavior is that it has to be recognized early and immediately nipped in the bud . Once u let thing fester, it will be difficult for u to snap things back to shape . Today's blogpost imma be going to help u differentiate between controlling behavior .

1. You are always being put down

Do they say thing to u like ?

" U don't understand things "

" U are stupid for ur age "

" I am just trying to make u understand things well "

No, they are not caring but are finding ways to control u in the name of care . The goal is to hijack ur decision-making process . She/he will end up making decision for u, have the final say on matters concerning u, or manipulate ( sometimes, force ) u to make decision they want. This behavioral traits are red flags and u should stay away from such person . Let no one take ur independence babe !!

2. They get mean when you don't listen to them

Are they in the habit of saying nasty things to u when u make ur own decisions and don't acknowledge their " suggestions " ? If they care for u, they would simply share their opinion on things and let u make ur own decision .

Someone who withdraws their affection because u did something they don't approve of never cared for u in the first place . U need to let them know that such behavior is unacceptable . 

3. They cut you off from your friends

[Source-Instagram @jasperkiko]

Either u feel that u're not good enough for them or they withdraw affection when u talk  to ur friends and family against their will . In either case, u need to cut them loose from ur life and put an end to their toxic and controlling nature .

Often this sort of controlling pattern starts with them telling u that ur friends are not good enough and giving u absurd reasons that u should really cut ur friends off from ur lyfe and claiming that u're his property only , property lah sangat . Kahwin pun belum ceiii ehhh terbakar ka ?

One of the biggest reasons behind this sort of controlling pattern is insecurity which isn't good for any kind of relationship .

4. They don't value your opinions

Ur relationship with them seems like a one-way street where they command and u listen . Be it a major decision of ur own life or just another random decision, they won't just let u choose for urself . Listening is a very important factor when it comes to communication in a relationship . When they don't listen to what u have to say about something, they aren't giving u much importance in the first place .

On the other hand, if they truly care, they would listen to what u think about a particular situation first, give their inputs as suggestions, and leave the decision-making to u .

5. They guilt-trip you

Have u ever done something and they come to rain on ur parade by guilt-tripping u ? Do they always try to lamp down ur excitements and achievements ? This is another classic manipulation technique disguised as being caring . Lain la cerita kalau kau jatuh terus kawan kau kasih ketawa kau baru dia tolong kau em terus dia ketawa balik, itu lain cerita okay hahaha . Always remember that good people stick by u by helping u out, not by manipulating u on forcing their own decisions on u .

6. You don't feel happy or excited

At the end, it all comes down to just one question: are u happy ? If u aren't, there is no reason u should be with that person . To make relationship work, both parties have to make compromises . If only one person is willing to make compromises or sacrifices, it is never going work in the longer run.

If ur partners exhibit any of these attitudes, talk about it and consider walking away from them of they do not change . One can only going change if he/she really love you . U need to make them understand that this isn't working for u . After all, u owe it to urself to be happy and be with someone who truly cares 💖

If ya reach to this very point of my entry kan , I wanna say thank you for tuning in and people like you guys seriously rare sebab people during this era kan no longer spend their time on reading blog (AKA Internet Magazine) because they rather scroll through socmed bahhh u feel me ? So it just made me feel touched la when I monitor the performance of my blog :") Ngehehehe btw

 

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